Muttering various imprecations...

Warning: hormone-driven bitchfest follows.

I'm so bloated I think I'm holding half the state's water.

It's concentrated in my gut and my chest, and has the unfortunate effect of making me look about 5 months pregnant. Which would be fine if I were, but I'm not.

I'm PMSsing like nobody's business.

Oh, and my period just arrived! Joy.

I just erased a HUGE long whine/ rant/ vent post that seriously made me think I'm having a midlife crisis about my career. Not surprising since no one walks across that stage to collect a B.A. planning to become a glorified secretary.

I miss our interior designer from work, because she moved back to the midwest a couple of months ago, leaving me the only full-time female in the office.

There's no one to laugh with when the company president breaks into song mid-afternoon, and the CADD manager and senior CADD operator join with him as the percussion and wind section, leaving me an audience of one.

The only other girl in the house is Emily-the-homicidal-cat.

In addition to bloat, some of this has to be actual "it will stay with you even past the period" weight because I've been eating like a moron.

And I have that size six dress to fit into in FIVE WEEKS. Oh. My. God. It's going to look awful.

So of course, Choreboy is bringing over some Burger King so I can get my daily grease intake up to par. Because the gyro, potato salad, and baklava I had for lunch just weren't sufficient for that.

Earlier today I was thinking how nice my skin was looking at least, so tonight a cluster of three zits broke out at the right corner of my nose.

The cat just threw up on the carpet.

Again.

I give.