Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Muttering various imprecations...

Warning: hormone-driven bitchfest follows.

I'm so bloated I think I'm holding half the state's water.

It's concentrated in my gut and my chest, and has the unfortunate effect of making me look about 5 months pregnant. Which would be fine if I were, but I'm not.

I'm PMSsing like nobody's business.

Oh, and my period just arrived! Joy.

I just erased a HUGE long whine/ rant/ vent post that seriously made me think I'm having a midlife crisis about my career. Not surprising since no one walks across that stage to collect a B.A. planning to become a glorified secretary.

I miss our interior designer from work, because she moved back to the midwest a couple of months ago, leaving me the only full-time female in the office.

There's no one to laugh with when the company president breaks into song mid-afternoon, and the CADD manager and senior CADD operator join with him as the percussion and wind section, leaving me an audience of one.

The only other girl in the house is Emily-the-homicidal-cat.

In addition to bloat, some of this has to be actual "it will stay with you even past the period" weight because I've been eating like a moron.

And I have that size six dress to fit into in FIVE WEEKS. Oh. My. God. It's going to look awful.

So of course, Choreboy is bringing over some Burger King so I can get my daily grease intake up to par. Because the gyro, potato salad, and baklava I had for lunch just weren't sufficient for that.

Earlier today I was thinking how nice my skin was looking at least, so tonight a cluster of three zits broke out at the right corner of my nose.

The cat just threw up on the carpet.


I give.


Choreboy said...

Why haven't women figured out that when they buy the wedding dress, they need to buy 6 sizes larger. I've NEVER heard a woman bitching because her wedding dress was too big and she had to gain weight:)

Amanda said...

Separate honeymoons, that's what I'm thinking...

HugeMD said...

Sorry, for the bad day, babe. Wish I could help. I do have one suggestion. This is totally gross, but true. Get a dog. They can sniff out cat puke faster than I can EVER find it--and chow it down before I can get to the paper towels, too. I don't condone it, but it does have it's positive aspects for someone who hates cleaning up cat puke.

Angel said...

Choreboy, hush ;)

Sweetie, I HEAR YOU. Bloat plus PMS plus Big Red PLUS STEROIDS. Woke up looking like a chipmunk today OMG. It's a good thing tomorrow is my last day on the prednisone because I'm flipping out. Worse than usual.

Mmmm gyros....

Momentarily that I can eat again (oh food how I missed you for 3 months) plus steroid hunger, I am a walking eating machine. My biggest worry is what to wear to my sister's baby shower in 2 weeks :X

I think I almost look as pregnant as she does :P

Distraction time: going to see HP next week?

Word verification: Dempro. Have at it.