Thursday, June 11, 2009

Hair Wars

Choreboy and I have been bickering back and forth about who's having a harder time with their hair.

I say I'm having more trauma:
  • I broke the mutual non-aggression treaty I had with my hair and am attempting to have an actual style, which in the Florida humidity is no small task.
  • My roots are now more white than grey, putting my natural hair color firmly at "little old lady".
  • Added to this condition is the fact that my incoming white hair is more coarse, dry, and wirey just by the very nature of the beast. Bear in mind, it wasn't exactly silky straight prior to its decline in pigmentation.

So it's more "little old lady meets brillo pad," which is why I have a stockpile of oils, silicone-based smoothers, and industrial strength blowdryers and flat irons. Every six weeks I spend four hours shackled to my stylist's chair huffing chemicals, because the "do it yourself" dyes either won't stick to my hair or turn it an unfortunate shade of mauve. All that and a minimum of 30 minutes drying/ styling time keep me from looking like I've had unnatural relations with a light socket while riding a geritol high.

Meanwhile, Choreboy claims he's having a worse time of it because he's let his hair grow out to a whopping 1.5 inches in length on the top (it's still under 1/2" on the sides and back) and he has to brush it.

My heart bleeds for that boy. Truly it does.


HugeMD said...

Am I reading into this correctly? Naturally curly, now turning gray? If so, I hear ya. Just got out of the stylist's chair myself. Professional color. Lots and lots of gel. Rarely shampoo. Lots and lots of conditioner. Humid days?--forget about it.

You can't fight it. It will always win. Straightening is futile.

Tycho Beresford said...

Poor Choreboy! 1.5 inches is truely unmanageable! It's almost to the length that he'll need something besides soap to keep it clean. And a Brush?!? Horrors!

On the positive side, at least his hair's natural color isn't blue now.

The Fantablous Colette said...

I left that war a long time ago.... Processed color, but long enough to have hippy hair, does well corralled into some squashed bug thing on top of my head.. Grey is actually white. (gotta love the red head genes) and the locks have always been wiry ... I just keep it corralled. Braid down the back or squashed bug... Chopsticks are my friend.
While Chore boy still has hair.. he could be like others... And like Sir T said... He's not in the Blue Hair Brigade (yet).

Amanda said...

HugeMD, yeppers. Naturally curly, now turning grey. Same here. Professional color, tons of product, and there's a very special timing and method for the shampooing.

Why do I live in Florida again? Yipes.

Tycho, you may not discuss this with him. Ever.

And Colette, I've done the squashed bug thing and the french braid thing. That was until I attempted this "hair style" thing. Sometimes I fear I have very strange ideas of what's a "good" idea... LOL.

Choreboy said...

My hair has been cut with a #1 guide all over for the last 12 or so years. Brushing is a waste of time. She only wanted to "see how it looked long", now she won't let me cut it. Screw it all, going for the Einstein look and we'll both be happy:)

Amanda said...

*sigh* my hair isn't the only unmanageable thing around here. Just sayin'.

Choreboy said...

At least you recognize your shortcomings;)

Choreboy said...

I know, I know.... on the couch.

The Fantablous Colette said...

Sometimes you need to run your hands through something other than ass hair... just sayin