This morning in the car:
Elder: Spider farts!
Elder: Spider. Farts.
(implied: You dummy. Aren't you listening?)
Me: Spiders don't fart.
(thinking: Why do I get into these conversations?)
Elder: Yes they do.
(implied: Parents. Sigh. Whatcha gonna do with 'em?)
Me: Okay. Then how do you know when a spider has farted?
(thinking: It's a reasonable question. Who knows, maybe he saw something on the Discovery Channel about spiders that build webs by farting?)
Elder (after some consideration): Telegram.
Me (after some combined blinking and stifled choking): A telegram.
Elder: Yep. Telegram.
Me: Alrightie then...
The Elder Offspring and the Gum Zombie had been snickering behind me the entire time this conversation was going on and burst into hysterical giggles at this point.
As for me, I'm just glad I'm not the only totally random person in my family.
March 27th, 2017 Most Things
7 hours ago