Wednesday, May 02, 2007


I've noticed many of my recent past posts have been pretty angry sounding. That's one reason I keep this blog... kind of to keep a pulse on where I am, where I've been, etc. My emotions keep whipping around like nobody's business, and it's driving me nuts (perhaps literally, ick).

To be fair to myself (because I read some of this stuff and was thinking, "Wow, okay, hello Rage Diary!" eek), I've had a pretty yucky time this past month or so, at least for me. On the other hand, other folks have it much MUCH worse.

This reflection is probably because right now I'm in a calm phase. This tells me the continued spotting weirdness is likely not post-biopsy spotting, but rather is my period, as I tend to be much less nutty a day or so after it sets in, and remain that way for around a week. Timing on this is good, because if I were in one of my more whacked-out states I'd likely be freaking out that I still haven't heard about the biopsy. Right now, though? Not a problem. Frankly, no news is good news, in my experience as a patient (I really REALLY have got to remember that when I'm losing my mind over some of this stuff). I'll either hear tomorrow, or I'll call in Friday. And if I call in Friday, it's a pretty safe bet they'll have the results in and have just been slammed at the office.

As a patient I, of course, wish they'd go ahead and call without me having to call in. As an office manager, though, I recognize that there are some days so busy folks can barely find time to choke down lunch. And that's just in architecture, which is rather laid back compared to many other fields, especially medicine. Really, in all fairness, my GYN's office is really very good about this stuff. And my GYN, much as he may aggravate me at times, is a logical, honest, and competent physician. If there were something really wrong and he had the results back, I'd know.

Need to remember to chart that I'm sane at the moment. That's another thing I appreciate about my GYN... he has a great appreciation for my lovely, color-coded anal-retentive menstrual chart that I'm keeping up on Excel, hee. I think it's that I'm one of few people who actually chart these things without being prompted that impresses him, actually, but heck, I'll take what I can get.

That said, I'm still wondering why I'm "She who bleeds and does not die." And I can't help but keep thinking about the menopause thing, FSH results be damned. It's a toss-up between researching on my own some more and risk driving my doc nuts, or hanging in there a bit longer. I'll probably do some of both, and try not to drive either of us crazy/ier in the process.

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