I just got on the scale at my mother's house this morning, and holy crap, the news was bad.
I've gained nearly 20 pounds in about two months. THIS is how I got to weighing 200 pounds back in 2006, y'all. The whole "eating as if famine is approaching" thing.
Now granted I know that if I eat well over the weekend and weigh myself on Monday that I could drop up to five of those pounds as I ate pizza last night (major water retention) plus I woke up late this morning and was totally off schedule with everything, so when I weighed myself it was with all my heavy clothing and shoes on...
But seriously? 168???????
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
You know, sometimes I feel a bit weird prattling on about my weight when I'm in what so many folks term as "one-derland" and in fact barely broke over that even at my highest, but the truth of the matter is that if the Elder son (then seven) hadn't announced to the entire grocery store "Mommy, you weigh two hundred!!!" in August of 2006, I might still be eating like I was.
Wait. I am.
But I could have done it without a break for the past three years, and well... do the math. I am fully capable of gaining 10 pounds per month. The rate of weight gain would eventually slow, but I could easily be much closer to 300 rather than 200. All it would take would be for me to ignore the scale for about six months.
I have to get this in gear. I have to get my eating straight. I have to get my butt back on that treadmill and work on Couch-to-5K because the only way for me to beat this is to make sure my lifestyle is utterly changed, and parking my ever-widening ass on the couch or in the computer chair clearly isn't effective.
And what kills me is that I can say all this, and yet there's a huge part of me that's still thinking "Maybe tomorrow's good..."
No, today is good. I've got an adequate lunch. I've got more oatmeal than I can shake a stick at. I've not screwed up my eating yet today, and in fact even if I had that's no excuse for me to continue to eat as if all the food on the planet is about to disappear.
I have a treadmill and I know how to use it. Ditto the weights and balance ball.
I totally know what Susan means about the Crazy Woman who inhabits her head, because I've got one of my own and, damn, girlfriend's loud. She's also the one who's been telling me not to read all your blogs, because she KNEW that if I did that I'd be forced to get on the scale...
Well, I beat her yesterday. And I read over at Jenn's blog about her one day challenge, which got my mind going again.
I'm so tired of watching what I eat. I'm so tired of exercising. I've been doing the food-watching for over three years now, some months more intently than others obviously, and the exercising this round kept going for three months. There's part of me that wishes and hopes that I could eventually stop doing either one of those activities.
But I can't. So... one day. I pledge to eat well today. And I just "signed up" over in the comments of Jenn's latest entry to make it a 100% good choices weekend too.
I think I'll take a "before" pic tonight. If I don't manage to make it 100% this weekend, I'll post that sucker on Monday. If I do make it through, the latest I'll post the "before" pic is when I have an "after" pic I like.
The bottom line is that I can't keep hopping up and down like this with my weight. My health can't take it, and my wardrobe seams can't stand the strain.
One of my favorite scenes
6 hours ago