Disclaimer: I love Publix, and specifically I love the Publix Pharmacy. I get all my prescriptions there. It's easy, it's affordable, and it just makes good sense time-wise.
That said, it's time for another Open Letter to Publix.
Dear Publix Marketing Powers-that-Be:
I listen to the radio on my morning commute (Tampa Bay's Mix 100.7 if anyone cares), and over the past month or so there's been a new Publix Pharmacy commercial airing.
Oh. My. God. And you people paid good money for this? The mind boggles.
The first offense? It's done by one of those female voiceover artists who graduated from the the William Shatner School of Public Speaking where she was apparently taught to pause awkwardly, and then give one of those little half laughs in a semi-confessional tone to make it appear that she is Just A Regular Person, when in reality she is A Truly Dreadful Actor.
And then there is the meat of the commercial.
Kill me now.
[Note: text of the commercial is from memory because a) I don't have an audio of it close at hand, and b) even if I did... no. Just no.]
"My son ___ has always been a pretty healthy kid, but I knew the day would come when he would need a prescription."
Really? Gee, there's a shocker.
"I remember that day so well..."
Oh hogwash. None of us remembers that day because unless you've locked yourself in a sterile environment your kid has his first cold before he's 3 months old, and then you're squirting Augmentin down his unwilling little mouth, resulting in you then being stuck with the aftereffects in his diapers for days afterwards... not that I'm bitter or anything. But seriously, it happens so many times that the first blends into the tenth. It's just a part of parenting.
"After visiting his doctor we'd stopped by Publix to pick up a few things, you know, chicken soup, tissues, cough drops..."
Yep, been there done that. Countless times.
"When we were about to leave, he said 'Mom, what about my medicine?'"
WTH?? The kid is old enough to TALK? This is so not his first prescription. Good grief.
Anyway, more ridiculousness follows about how they didn't have a family pharmacy (with "oh how embarassing!" overtones), but then she got hit by a bolt of brilliance and realized they were loyal to PUBLIX!
So now Publix is their family pharmacy, it was a memorable experience, blah blah blah, and oh God will someone just make this commercial go away???
Newsflash, Publix Marketing Folks: people use Publix Pharmacy for their family because most parents (okay, humans in general whether parental or child-free) like to combine trips as much as humanly possible rather than making a separate run to a pharmacy. This goes quadruple if you're dealing with a sick kid. Come in, drop the scrip, grab the groceries, pick up the meds, and you're out.
Easy-peasy. Nothing "memorable" about it. And that's the beauty part.
Because if I can remember a trip to the pharmacy, that's a sign that something went terribly wrong.
Okay, rant over. Must finish actually working.
April 25th, 2017 Once Again
1 hour ago