Monday, January 07, 2008

Better...

Sorry for yesterday morning's rant, y'all. I do well most days... yesterday, obviously, was not a banner day. I'll be back to the general lunacy now, or what passes for it at least.

This particular post isn't of the funny variety though, so feel free to jump over it. Twice, perhaps. I'm feeling a bit introspective today, so that's what's feeding the blog at this moment.

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I'm currently sitting at work listening to a CD sent to me by some friends of mine from Second Life, MacKenzie Rasmuson and Case Munro of the glam rock group Friendly Fire. I'm an officer for Friendly Fire's group, along with Tycho Beresford and Isobela Cappalini as well as Dee Junkers, and I've got to say we have the most awesome group of fans and most incredible leaders in Mack and Case as I've ever seen (seriously, all you people ROCK!!!).

Friendly Fire streams live into Second Life, and the concerts are simply a blast. There's a lot of audience interaction and I have yet to be disappointed by one of their performances. The music style is (and correct me folks if I'm wrong) glam rock meets punk, with a decidedly political bent at times. There's a good drive to all the songs, and I always feel better after listening to them play.

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Music has actually been a lifeline to me over the past year or so. At some of the more overwhelming times I'd need just some relief, any relief, from the thoughts that were running around in my brain, decisions that needed to be made, choices and the consequences thereof (and just who has to pay the price)... and music has been my escape. I can sit in my car with Nickelback's Rock Star blasting from the speakers, singing at the top of my lungs, and have absolutely nothing else on my mind beyond the sheer joy of the music and outrageous lunacy of the lyrics.

When I'm lost in music, whether listening or playing on my own, I'm in another world. And it's one I rather like.

I've been involved in music somehow since infancy. My grandmother was a concert pianist, and I started piano lessons at age five, followed by choir at age six, and violin lessons at age ten. I don't play the violin much anymore -- it's such a "use it or lose it" instrument, and sad to say I've pretty much lost it -- but I finally have a piano in my house again, and I haul out the sheet music every now and then, stumble through some pieces, curse my fumbling fingers, and get back to practicing. It's a slow process, retraining my fingers from typing to playing, but it's worth it. I can sit and play for hours and when I look up at the clock I'm invariably shocked at how much time has passed.

Don't ever ask me to play in public though. I have this teensy (okay, huge) bit of social anxiety and anyone standing near me when I'm practicing causes my fingers to fumble even more ferociously until the point where I'm so frustrated I want to scream. My music is for me alone... but I'm grateful to all those musicians out there who share their talents with the rest of us.

5 comments:

Scott said...

Could you tape yourself playing some 'no and then put the video on YouTube or your blog?

Amanda said...

Oh no no no :) That isn't going to happen. A tape recorder is as bad as a live audience as far as my performance anxiety is concerned. I did enough public instrumental performance back when I was younger... and now it's just for me.

Plus? I'm really bad now, LOL. I love playing, but I'm not at all up to any sort of quality even with the practicing. I'd have to put in more consistent effort with that, and for now I just want the joy of fiddling around without the anxiety of having to "put out" for an audience.

Maybe someday? Eh. We'll see.

Tycho Beresford said...

I can't wait to hear your first duet with MacKenzie. Didn't ya'll decide on singing "Make Me Beautiful" together?

Angel said...

Until (if) I get my neck issues resolved, learning to play the violin is out for me. I don't play the piano so much with my pain lately :X

BUT! That leaves room for 2 instruments I've been dying to learn--cello and bagpipes. Yes. Bagpipes LOL

Would love to hear you play sometime....And if I can ever get my daughter to start practicing again, then I'll be back to 3 students.

Ugh I hated public performances--still do. Singing isn't bad (unless it's the Anthem and you've fallen on ice) but piano, yikes. I used to puke for piano finals in college.

Amanda said...

Yeah, Angel. I think half the reason I dropped the music major thing was a gut-wrenching fear of juries.

*shudder*