Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Another Note to the Women in this Office

My dearest co-workers,

I appreciate your concerns about my social life. Yes, since starting the divorce process my house has decreased its testosterone level by the count of two males, one human and one feline. However, please do not let this distress you overmuch.

News flash, girls: remember that old saying about how a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle? Well guess what... it's true! I'm not sitting in the corner sobbing, wailing, or gnashing my teeth over having a 3:2 male-to-female ratio in the house. In fact, I can live with it quite nicely.

That said, the profiles you ladies keep sending me from Match.com, like the one where the guy advertises that he has all his teeth as a freaking selling point? Pure comedy gold. Keep 'em coming.

Sincerely,
Amanda

P.S. Uhmmmm... Mom's friends? Please see above.

Kthnxbai.

(I swear to GOD people... yes, this is really happening. You can't make this shit up.)

9 comments:

Scott said...

Hahahahah! Amanda, I am missing about 1/4 of my teeth because they got hacked out with my cancerous jaw. But if you want some Scott-lovin', just drop me a line! I am glad you are doing well. That is crazy that you can send "matches" to your friends! I'm surprised nobody's sent me any, what with all the insane amount of whining I do on my blog about NOT having a girlfriend and WANTING one!

Babs said...

Heh heh. Get used to it. That and suddenly finding yourself as a "second-class citizen" because you aren't attached to a man, and for the men to be terrified of you because you don't need one. The world can be surprisingly retro...

Amanda said...

Yeah, I'm hanging in there Scott :) And they're basically copy/pasting the profiles to me... hehehehe. One has a self-described "happy-go-lucky" guy whose unfortunate choice for his picture? Was his formal, stern-faced shot as a Sheriff's Deputy.

Not exactly the picture of laid-back, yanno? Let alone "happy-go-lucky"...

And Babs, yeppers. I've already gotten some strange receptions from formerly friendly neighbor women at the grocery store. Ladies, I do NOT WANT YOUR HUSBANDS. Good Lord. Keep them, PLEASE.

I have nothing against maybe eventually getting involved again. But it's going to take a hell of a man to do that. One thing I've learned over the past year and a half? Is that the "Walls" portion of my blog title is surprisingly apt... in more ways than I knew when I picked this ridiculous title.

My readers from Second Life can tell you more about my literal fondness for walls in that world. Heh.

Case said...

I was at Fibbers just last night, and the Wall was missing you badly. Oh sure, it was canoodling with some other avatar, but I could tell it wasn't the same.

catherine said...

Happy 2008!

Amanda said...

Case, that poor wall has been sorely neglected in favor of the Christmas Tree (which has dissappeared to who knows where)...

And happy 2008 to you too, Catherine!

FerdC said...

Amanda,
I'm sending you an email with a picture you might enjoy. It's for when you are ready to find that really perfect guy!
Hang in there, babes!

Angel said...

You know....my BIL is single.....

Running like HELL ;)

Amanda said...

Angel, oh dear gussy girl...