Can we discuss saintly here, ladies and gentlemen? Because I was. I baked and cooked nothing inappropriate. I ate nothing inappropriate. My calories averaged at 1450 a day, and I burned through over 2000 in exercise this week. I'm not expecting speedy weight loss at my current weight and proximity to goal, but at least a vague gesture in the correct direction on the scale would be appreciated.
Adding insult to injury, That Which Shall Not Be Named was supposed to show up last Saturday, the 27th. Has it bothered to rear its unwelcome head? No it has not. So here I sit at thirty-one days and counting, bloated and seething with hormonal angsty-ragey ick, glaring at the scale, and wondering if there are enough absorbent products in the Lower 48 to contain the monsoon that will surely be incoming. It's only a question of when.
It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the ridiculous moodiness which has now extended far beyond its "welcome" (assuming there ever was any). For example, last night I was trying to delete a corrupted audiobook file from my iPad. In my understanding, Apple products are supposed to be all user-friendly and even close to idiot-proof, so this shouldn't have been terribly difficult. Well I'm here to tell you I'm one idiot they haven't met. I searched the web for instructions. I followed them to a "T". Nothing. I was only rescued from chucking both my desktop and tablet out the window by Choreboy who, through a complex series of gestures and incantations, was able to make the problem go away.
When he suggested I just let him fix these things before I reached the boiling point, I wailed "But I was trying to be a grown-up!"
After recovering from a mysterious coughing/choking fit, he responded, "Uhm... you weren't doing a very good job of it?"
Then for some reason, he ducked.
In other news, the forced marches continue to go well. The last two hikes this past Saturday and Sunday didn't net us any gator sightings (thank goodness), but the Gum Zombie regaled us with his knowledge of birds ("Oh yes, that's a juvenile glossy ibis") and the Elder managed to develop some sort of allergy to grass.
We're now stockpiling Benadryl.
I moved up from my little leather "going to a theme park and want to keep my hands free" backpack to my actual, real, orangey-rust-colored "I need room to carry a lake's worth of water with me" backpack. This was necessary, because the previous week I'd run out of water before we finished our hike and it was only my forethought in packing an emergency backup can of Diet Coke that kept me from being totally parched for the last 20 minutes. So I'm now carrying not only a larger water container in the first place, but also 3 backup bottles to refill the first one, and a container or two of coconut water to round out my re-hydration sequence.
Saturday's hike was at the same nature preserve as the previous week's, but Sunday we hit the park with the fitness trail and it took until Wednesday evening for me to be able to move comfortably again. Did you know, you have muscles over your ribs? And if you work them after not knowing they existed for over forty years, those suckers hurt! Go figure.
On the plus side, now I have two measurable goals that don't depend on a scale: "be able to do ONE pull-up" and "be able to do ONE slightly-more-horizontal push-up". Because my upper body strength is pitiful.
At least I get to go swimming on Monday, and I get to show off my new bathing suit. Heh. Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend, everyone!
Made to Feel Welcome
1 hour ago