Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
One Sunday for the children's sermon, our minister had picked a topic familiar to most children: consequences. And she then asked the cherubs surrounding her just what they would do if they could do anything, anything in the world, without having to worry about consequences.
"I'd play with my friends all day!"
"I'd play video games!"
"I'd visit my grandmother!"
Ah, the little darlings.
The next child she called on was the Elder Offspring, who looked so grown up in his blue oxford cloth button-down and khacki pants.
"I'd ditch school."
I sank down in the pew.
And next, she finally saw the Gum Zombie up in the choir loft, nearly dislocating his shoulder with the violence of his hand-waving.
"Yes! And what would you do?"
"I'd rob a bank!"
The entire congregation giggled, and those who knew this was my spawn were shooting me looks equally divided between horror and amused sympathy. Not that I noticed so much, because now I was trying to figure out how I could fit under the pew -- forget this wimpy "sinking down" nonsense.
Remember, this is the same child who tried to pick a lock using a twig. Here's hoping my flippant "Our Future Burglar" prognosis doesn't bear fruit.
*Note: Yes I see the humor in this. HUGE amounts of it. It just wasn't quite as funny at the time... go figure ;)
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