Thursday, February 18, 2010

Parental Pride

Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

One Sunday for the children's sermon, our minister had picked a topic familiar to most children: consequences. And she then asked the cherubs surrounding her just what they would do if they could do anything, anything in the world, without having to worry about consequences.

"I'd play with my friends all day!"
"I'd play video games!"
"I'd visit my grandmother!"

Ah, the little darlings.

The next child she called on was the Elder Offspring, who looked so grown up in his blue oxford cloth button-down and khacki pants.

"I'd ditch school."

I sank down in the pew.

And next, she finally saw the Gum Zombie up in the choir loft, nearly dislocating his shoulder with the violence of his hand-waving.

"Yes! And what would you do?"

"I'd rob a bank!"

The entire congregation giggled, and those who knew this was my spawn were shooting me looks equally divided between horror and amused sympathy. Not that I noticed so much, because now I was trying to figure out how I could fit under the pew -- forget this wimpy "sinking down" nonsense.

Remember, this is the same child who tried to pick a lock using a twig. Here's hoping my flippant "Our Future Burglar" prognosis doesn't bear fruit.

*Note: Yes I see the humor in this. HUGE amounts of it. It just wasn't quite as funny at the time... go figure ;)


Choreboy said...

I'm glad to see that I have such a positive influence on these children *smirk*

Amanda said...

YOU were one of the people snickering, dear :P

Casey said...

It sounds like your guys were the only ones paying attention to the question. When it all comes down, I want the GZ on my team.

Amanda said...

Casey, well I'll give them that -- they certainly did attend to the "no consequences" bit LOL.

And I'll admit, I've giggled about it a bit myself since it's all over and done with ;)

Angel said...

oh my beloved, I feel your pain! Track down my post something like "But they behave in restaurants I swear"--I wished for the Rapture.

Funny as hell but not when they're your kids ;)