Wednesday, December 28, 2011

When the Guitars Scream, I Don't Have To

I'm turning into quite the metal-head in my old age. Choreboy and I were hosing down the house the other week in preparation for the Gum Zombie's 9th birthday party, both jamming out to our MP3 players.

He? Was listening to Air Supply.

I? Was listening to Iron Maiden.

We're twisted, but it works for us.

I'm sick today, and when Choreboy came home there I was, resting in bed listening to Bullet for my Valentine's Scream, Aim, Fire album. Not something restful, no no no... no, an album labeled "Explicit" on iTunes.

I'm going to lose my Sainted Mother trophy. I just know it.

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I had jury duty a couple of weeks ago, and of course it was the week that overlapped the 15th of the month, which is payday/ bill paying time at the office. Now if I died, they'd figure out a way to pay everyone, but as I'm not dead yet (I feel happy!!!), the plan was that if it came down to it I'd just come in the night of the 14th and run everything out for payday, then come in the night of the 15th and run out all the AP checks.

My group of jurors was slated for a felony trial. We were trapped up on one of the top floors of the courthouse for over 3 hours with no access to caffeine (speaking of cruel and unusual punishment), and right as we were about to be taken in for voir dire, the bailiff came out and said, "The trial has been continued. The judge said to tell you thank you for your service."

Most of our group agreed that this was, indeed, proof there is a Santa Claus.

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Christmas was a frenzy of cooking, baking, and dining insanity. A week prior was the Gum Zombie's afore-mentioned birthday which included a Bakugan cake -- NOT made by me, thank goodness -- and a warm bacon blue cheese dip that was. Then we had the office Christmas party, then Christmas Eve at my house featuring Death By Lasagna and a cream cheese pound cake. The entire insanity-fest culminated at my parents' on Christmas day with more Bacon Blue Cheese dip, crazy amounts of cheese, beef tenderloin, Super Taters, and a triple-decker gingerbread cake with cream cheese frosting studded with crystalized ginger.

My stomach hurts just typing all that.

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Speaking of weight... I'm not speaking about it. Or maybe I am. Since the ablation I've been off-kilter. Cravings have been out of control, and adding to that I'm having severe bloating in my chest which isn't helping matters at all. I don't know what I weigh right now because I'm sick of getting on the scale even when I'm doing everything right and seeing it go up, and frankly, since I have not been doing everything right for the past couple of weeks or so, I shudder to think of what the results are now.

I'm getting back on that bad boy in mid-February and not a minute before. I'm picking that date because my GYN says I should know the final results of my ablation at that point, and I'm hoping that means the chestal insanity (I just went down a bra size, people -- and now I swear I'm up one! at least! and this is not a positive, kids) will have abated. Until then I'll eat and exercise as I should without the shriek-fest my recent weigh-ins have engendered.

Now all I need is for someone to start texting my lazy ass next week* at 5:00 AM ET so I'll haul my butt out of bed and knock out my cardio before I can come up with an excuse not to do it. Any volunteers, please hit me up in email and I'll shoot you the number.

Accountability is a good thing.

*I have a very bad cold on top of everything else right now, so this isn't an "I'll start in 2012" issue, so much as it is the "I can't breathe through my nose and it's dripping anyway" type.

8 comments:

Choreboy said...

I would text you but I'm not getting my butt up at 5am to do so. I can text you at 6:30 though :) And you didn't mention the awesomeness that were the redbeans (yes spell check, one word). Besides, I think it may be environmental... I've put on about 6 pounds as well.

The Ninja said...

If you are up at 5:30 am please say a quick prayer that I am not. Days when I get to remain comatose past 7 are few and far between.

I'm sitting at my desk listening to Skillet which is a Christian screaming rock band, with great drums. If they take your mom trophy they'll be coming for mine next.

Mauigirl said...

Hi Amanda, just stopping by to say Happy New Year! Will try to catch up on blog reading and writing, it's my New Year's resolution (of course along with all those weight loss and exercise resolutions that I always make).

tz said...

happy new year...so glad you got out of jury duty, that would be a bummer...AND seriously do you never take a vacation around the middle of the month, what if you were in the hospital? sheesh!

Jen said...

I haven't weighed myself since I took the desk job and don't intend to anytime soon. I don't think I'll like the results. I'm not even pretending I'll get up at 5, though. I'll be starting my exercise routine after work.

Amanda said...

Honey, the reason I'm begging for folks to text me at 5AM is because I'm well aware you won't be of any assistance in getting me out of bed :P

Ninja, will do LOL. I know you're in full on "God please let me sleep now" mode because you already know what the next few months will bring in terms of sleep!

Happy New Year, Maui! I hear ya, I've been slacking lately myself. Wretched holidays.

TZ, actually... no. My vacations don't overlap the 15th or the 30th. I mean, technically they could, but the terror that would induce is nothing I want to see anytime soon, LOL. And I'm relatively certain that if I were hospitalized someone would be up there with a laptop looking helpless. Okay, they'd actually figure it out (I wrote out easy-to-follow step-by-step instructions on how to get folks paid), but this specific pay period involved end-of-the-year insanity and in this particular instance it was actually necessary that I, personally, run it.

Jen, I've been balking at the 5AM thing but since school started this year and my younger son's workload increased 10-fold, I just don't have the evening hours I need, so it's either tack the workouts onto the morning or forego them at all. And I'm seeing what the foregoing is doing, so... I'm stuck.

Oh well. I'm just going to have to become a morning person. Ick.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

5 a.m? I would, but my ass doesn't work that early. I say I am going to get up and do it every year, but NEVER do!

Lisa said...

I think those songs are awesome! lol Happy Birthday to your 9 year old and Happy New Year!