Monday, October 18, 2010

Pre-teen Mom Angst

The Elder was quiet on his way home today. He finally burst out that he and his best friend are not friends anymore.

He's devastated, and I'm broken-hearted for him. I kind of saw this coming when the other two guys in their formerly tight foursome got kind of down on this one kid because, as they said, he was "being a jerk" to them.

The two he was being a jerk to were still in fifth grade, while the Elder and this kid moved up to middle school.

Now it seems he doesn't need my son anymore just like he didn't need the younger two guys anymore. He feels free to not only cut off the friendship, but also to a) gang up on my son with another child, and b) rub my son's nose in the fact that he's been talking poorly about him in one of his classes.

I'm sickened and disgusted. If this continues, it smells alot like bullying.

I just wish I could fix all this for him...

9 comments:

Dizzy Girl said...

I'm so sorry to hear that your son is going through this tough time. Middle school is a nightmare- if I remember correctly (it WAS a million years ago, it seems like). I still have no desire to go back there. I hope he pulls through okay and finds new friends. :)

Jen said...

That sounds like the kind of friend he could do without.

TaDa said...

that stinks .. kids can be so mean.... hope it gets better

Aunt of 14 said...

That totally sucks... I remember being a member of a trio. We were best friends, tight friends in elementary school. Then comes Jr Hi, and the two of them decided they didn't want me around anymore. Broke my heart, but then I made other friends and had a better time of it. The Elder will find another friend who treats hiim better, mark my words!

Amanda said...

Thanks everyone. And I suspect he will make it... it's just such a horrible time of life! Junior high sucked hugely, LOL.

Angela Pea said...

Oh, I'm so sorry!

Having raised children of both genders, I think friendship breakups are much harder on our sons. Our daughters move in and out of circles with much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but the boys are just so heartbroken when it happens.

The bullying issue? Your best defense is bullyproofing your own child with information he can use, such as how to call a bluff, when (an how!) to tell an adult, how to speak up without being agressive, and when to (hate to say it, but yes, it's necessary), uh, when to run.

You can't fix it for him, but you can armor him with love...and help him find new friends.

Janell said...

It's awful watching heartbreak. I only watch my 5 year old grand niece's occasional heart break and that's more than I can take. We ache for our children.

Pearl said...

Children can be cruel, nasty little creatures.

I feel for Elder. Some of life's hardest lessons are learned by children...

Pearl

Choreboy said...

I agree with Pearl. I'd like to also add it seems that the children who don't learn these life lessons are the ones that grow older but never seem to grow up.