I've reached my happy place with my food and activity again. I'm eating well, I gave up the stupid nightly fro-yo (because I'm forty-freaking-three years old and I finally realized that somewhere within me I thought I needed it, and that was where I brought the hammer down -- nobody needs fro-yo) and exchanged it for a damn apple and almond butter in the afternoon at the office. The calories were necessary, but the composition of the calories with my current choice is highly superior.
I'm also at week 2 with zero Diet Coke, period. If I have one can I'll suck down a 12-pack, so I just don't drink it anymore. It's senseless to pay for organic apples (have y'all seen the prices on those?? GACK!!!) and then bath my innards in some chemical stew. Thank you, no.
I'm exercising daily with MWF upper body (thanks again, very nice husband!!) and TThSa with my limited lower body stuff (supported squats against the wall, and roll-ins on the floor). I've also still got dance on Wednesdays, what I can do of it, and I'm bringing back in some limited cardio depending on today's Word from On High, i.e., my orthopedist. I did 10 minutes on the recumbent bicycle yesterday as a bit of a test on my Stupid Knee with no ill effects today, and my plan is to move swiftly to 20 minutes daily. That would be "swiftly" as in "starting this afternoon".
I think what I'll hear is "do it, and if it hurts, stop". It's just the second part I have trouble with :P
Where I'm not at my happy place is with the amount of time in a day. Holy crap, I spent the entire weekend getting food purchased, assembled, and packed up for the week, in between hosing out the house, guiding/ nagging the Gum Zombie with his room cleaning, and changing out the sand boas' substrate and moving their heat sources from a rheostat to a thermostat.
There was also The Weekly Rat Cleanup. They're cute fuzzy little darlings, but Holy Jesus God do they reek. And that's with a daily cage wipe-down/ pickup. No cure for it but to change out the bedding.
And there was laundry. Still is, for that matter -- I have yet to wash my darks. The children's clothes are all done and folded, though. Naturally. Eyeroll.
Oh, and this morning the male ball python did a doodle, so I got to clean out that happiness.
Part of me thinks adding the cardio back in is insanity, but it's 20 minutes, and I know 20 minutes not only won't kill me, but at least I can zone out on the machine for that long and not have to deal with anyone else. I prefer to look at it as a gift.
Today is Day 100 of my former plan to Get Off the Christmas Weight. That hasn't happened, and I'm still hovering in the low-140's, which seems to be my winter default. Interestingly, it corresponds with allergy season which makes me think that perhaps* my allergy pills have some bearing on the difficulty in losing the last bit of weight. I can drop 7 pounds in 4 weeks once I'm off the pills -- I did exactly that last summer -- but not while I'm still taking the Zyrtec daily.
I also noticed that my upswing in appetite and this December's need to eat All The Food coincided with the onset of High Allergy Season for me.
So what this tells me is that I need to be super-careful with my food now, especially when I'm on the allergy meds, because listening to my body is sheer idiocy. My body is not only a lying liar that lies, it's chemically altered and hormonally challenged (adding insult to injury). My willpower stands zero chance if I open that door even a little.
Moderation can bite me. Sometimes it works for me, but right now it's not -- I doubt it really ever will again -- and trying to make it work is only going to result in my failure to fit into my business wardrobe.
As I've said before, I like my clothes. I fit in them, albeit at the moment on the more-closely-fitting end of their parameters. I cannot afford an entire new wardrobe. Ergo, I have to be intelligent and not gain weight. Since I like a little more breathing room, I believe it's safe to say I'm currently in active weight loss mode for sure.
Ultimately, I'd still like to see 130. I think 135 is the realistic/ sustainable weight I'll end up hanging with -- I've done it for months on end with relatively little stress, other than the allergy season correlation (not causation -- my pound cake consumption over the holidays is proof against any allergy pill theory, and I own that) but I'd like to at least wave briefly at 130.
I'll update y'all on the orthopedic stuff as the situation warrants. If I'm being whiny and this is just a middle-age issue, and surgery is too much for the lack of function I'm experiencing, at least I've done my due diligence about it. If surgery is warranted, I'll deal with that. Until then, though, I've got to keep moving forward.
I see too many similarities between some of my thought and activity patterns and folks who regain 20+ pounds, and I just can't go there. My father has, repeatedly. This stops with me.
*Please note: the italics are not meant to indicate irony -- in this particular instance, they're meant to indicate uncertainty. Just in case that wasn't clear.
July 28th, 2015 The Certainty Dynamic
4 hours ago