Better Late than Never

5:00 AM, 40 minutes, 10.6 miles

Okay, actually when 5:00 hit I had an argument with myself. I was so tired it seemed like my body was saying "No! No! Stay in bed and sleep. You can always exercise later..."

Yeah, sometimes my body is a lying liar that lies. So I ignored it, got up, and did my cardio.

And now I'm beat. I'll be up in less than 8 hours anyway. Nite!

Playing Catch-up

Saturday, sometime in the afternoon, 40 minutes, 10.5 miles (2 sets Tabatas mixed with solid-state cardio)
Tuesday, 5:00 AM, 40 minutes, 10.5 miles
Wednesday, 5:00 AM, 40 minutes, 10.4 miles (2 sets Tabatas mixed with solid-state cardio)

Whew. So yes, I've been at it, even though I haven't reported in. It's been absolute lunacy the past few days what with the pipe bursting and some refrigerator dramatics. But whatever, we're through it. I think I need to sacrifice a weekday solid-state cardio session or two to resistance training instead. Or mix in some circuits. Planning to do those on weekends is all well and good, but I like to have a bit more variety during the week rather than have clumps here and there. And with weights and circuit training, I definitely need a few days in between. Maybe even just trading out one cardio session for a circuit day, then do the other one on Saturday. That could work. So then I'd have two solid-state cardio days, two 2 sets Tabatas mixed with solid-state cardio days, and two circuit days.

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Oh, and we just had our first major adolescent meltdown*. Poor Elder. I can't say anything to make him feel better either. All I can do is listen, and I'd be happy to if the child would just freaking talk to me. He won't, though, because I am his mother and therefore I am the epitome of clueless. Or dense. Or whatever word they're using these days to describe parental stupidity.

Sheesh. My appreciation for my own parents grows daily. The fact that they let me live past fifteen is still something of a marvel.

Anyway, have a good one folks! Here's hoping I don't go home to curdled milk.

*I'd describe it but then the child would find my blog, read it, and we would have the meltdown to end all meltdowns.

Best Laid Plans (I think I've used this title before...)

So yesterday there I was, in my workout gear, ready to hop on the bike for 10+ miles or so. The Season 3 premiere of Swamp People was replaying and since I'd fallen asleep halfway through it on Thursday, the actual premiere night, I was tickled pink. Figured I'd pedal away, watch Troy & Co. choot 'em some gators, and life would be good, right?

Yeah, it didn't happen.

I was just tying my shoes when Choreboy came in with a serious look on his face. "You need to come see this."

Water. Dripping out of the side of my house. And it was steaming.

Ugh.

Nothing like the hot water supply line breaking to put a crimp in your day. Goodbye, cycling; hello, Lowe's.

Thankfully I am married to Mr. Fixit. In fact, I'm rapidly starting to believe if Choreboy can't fix it then it's broken for good.* All it took was a trip to the store to pick up some emery cloth, a length of copper pipe, and this new ball valve thingie he wanted to put on the water heater. He already had everything else he needed at home. In fact, if you'd like a detailed version of events, here's his blog entry about it, in glorious technicolor detail.

So now the hot water is as it should be, happily contained in its pipes and no longer spewing everywhere, and Choreboy once again wins Best!Husband!Ever!

*That said, he's actually very straightforward about things that are beyond his abilities, like the garage door spring when it broke. That definitely merited a call to the garage door repair folks.

Who Knew?

I upped the resistance on the bike yesterday and came in at 10.8 miles, which is a new all-time high for me. Holy crap. Who knew?

Nothing is sore either, which is actually a bit of a bummer. It's definitely time to get more intense about things. I don't want to hobble around in pain by any means, but I do want to push myself a bit more. I think I need to do circuits on the weekend, a couple days of Tabatas during the week, and a couple days of just straight cardio. Variety is a good thing, and I know I need more.

Food-wise I had to rethink things at the grocery store. My plan was to get a turkey breast and roast it, but because I don't make turkey that often I forgot that turkey breast tends to be frozen this time of year, and I'd need to give that sucker some decent thaw time which I just don't have this weekend. So instead I'm making my lentil soup for the week, which involves a pound of lentils, about 4-6 organic carrots, a full bag of baby organic spinach, chopped onion, two ribs chopped celery, tomatoes, chicken or vegetable broth, and whatever spices I feel called to toss in at any given moment. Sometimes I feel like Middle Eastern and throw in a boatload of curry powder; other times I forego the curry and instead use a heavier hand with the basil and oregano.

There is always garlic, just because.

Anyway, time to hit the kitchen -- have a great Saturday, everyone!

What a Week

Out of the past six workdays, counting today, I have worked a full day exactly twice. That's it. Last Friday was getting the Gum Zombie to urgent care, Monday was a full workday, Tuesday was the Gum Zombie's trip to the orthopedist, Wednesday was Taking the Elder to the Dentist day, Thursday was Subject the Children to Dental Procedures day, and today, blessedly, I am once again planted at my desk for a full eight hours.

I have precisely 2 days and 1.5 hours of sick leave left. Until 2013.

It hasn't been a banner week for eating either, but I have managed to stay within my 1300 - 1350 calorie range by juggling food items here and there. It's not ideal, but at least I'm through it. And after work today I get to go home to my very nice Slow Cooker Provencal Chicken and Beans, fix the boys their food, then climb onto the bike again since I ended up taking my cardio rest day yesterday. Thank you, scheduling insanity!

I think I'm going to up my resistance on the bike. I won't say that 10 miles in 40 minutes is at all effortless (I absolutely sweat buckets), but a bit more effort would be a good thing. Or maybe I'll work on my Tabata intervals. Eh, I'll figure it out. Regardless, this evening there will be movement of the deliberate and fitness-enhancing type.

Now I just need to figure out what I'm cooking for next week, get the list made, and make sure I eat breakfast before tomorrow morning's grocery store run. We all have our limits, and mine snap when I'm confronted with endless food on an empty stomach.

Have a great weekend, all!

Broken Pattern

Tuesday, 3:30 PM, 40 minutes, 10.3 miles
Wednesday, 6:00 PM, 40 minutes, 10.1 miles

Well, at least I got it done.

I hate it when I mess up a good pattern of behavior. After not waking up on time yesterday you can bet your bottom dollar that I had my alarm set this morning to drag myself out of bed. I woke up at 4:45, stayed in bed until the alarm went off, then proceeded to beat that sucker into a pulp until 6:00 AM. When I lose my rhythm with something, it's murder getting it back.

On the plus side, it wasn't hard to get in my workout this evening. Choreboy is closing the restaurant the rest of this week and into the beginning of next, so making the best of a somewhat bummerish situation, I'll just snooze in a bit and work out at night instead.

It'll do.

It's Not a Tumor!

5:00 AM, Zzzzzzzzzz

That would be the sound of me sleeping through when I should have awakened, due to my failure to turn on my alarm. I only woke up half an hour late, but that was too late to get in the early-morning workout. Drat.

On the "Cue the Hallelujah Chorus" side of things, however, I am pleased to announce that the Gum Zombie's foot is not, I repeat not broken! The orthopedist says he's just got a bad sprain, so the boy is in an air cast for three weeks with no jumping, running, leaping, or otherwise sproinging about, but outside of that we're fine. Hooray!

And because it took so long to get everything done for the child this morning, I'm out of work for the remainder of the day so it looks like I have a little extra time to park my happy self on that recumbent bike anyway.

Sometimes it all just works out. Whew.

Monday Monday

4:45, awake. 5:00 alarm. 10.2 miles, life is good.

I took Friday as a cardio rest day, did my weights and resistance training that night, then went an hour on the bike on Saturday (average 15.1 MPH, but covered only 14.9 miles, no I don't know how that works), and 40 minutes on it yesterday. Getting up this morning was evil in spite of the fact that I now wake up well in advance of the alarm, but setting my mind that I will do this and report back has some good accountability going.

The Gum Zombie is hanging out at home today with Choreboy, bless both their hearts. We finally have an appointment with an orthopedist, but that's not until tomorrow morning so until then we're still doing the splint/ ACE bandage combo. It's actually kind of a good thing because I can make sure the child is clean this way, as I can take off the splint for him to soak in the tub for a little. Once we have a cast on (I'm praying they'll decide on a boot instead of a cast -- please!!) it's going to be a whole 'nother ball game.

Oh well, it's part and parcel of the parental package. And at least he waited until he was older to break his first bone. The Elder managed to break his arm when he was 3. That child is a talent.

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In other news, I finally managed to bake a decent banana bread yesterday. Hooray! I don't understand why, but for some reason baking anything with bananas was just giving me fits. They'd be raw in the middle, or dried out, or the last instance the loaves turned out more like... banana bread pudding? Which wasn't awful or anything, just not bread-like.

And I wanted banana bread. Dammit.

In order to dispose of the loaves efficiently (i.e., not strap them to my ass with duct tape), I brought one in to the office and also cut a generous slice from the "home" loaf to take to my parents this morning. My hope is that Choreboy and the Gum Zombie will consume mass quantities of the remaining loaf while I'm at work, and by the time I get home it will be all gone.

Wishful thinking, perhaps, but a girl can dream.

Hey, Bring That Back!

They're carting away my Mother of the Year trophy. Again.

You know how there are some children who, frankly, veer toward the dramatic? And every injury down to a paper cut demands the care of an entire surgical suite? Yeah, I have one of those.

So yesterday when the Gum Zombie hurt his ankle at his after school care center, I looked at it, saw it was neither bruised nor swollen, and figured it would be better in the morning just like countless similar injuries have been. Instead, this morning he couldn't put any weight on it and as luck would have it, the doctor at the urgent care center said the X-rays appear to show a small fracture.

I was horrified. He has been positively gleeful and has gloried in telling me (repeatedly) "And YOU kept telling me to put weight on it! No trophy for you!"

The kid is true to his genetics, what can I say?

So at any rate, we have a child who is tickled with his crutches, is nearly as enthralled with his splint/ ACE bandage combo, and who will be going in to the orthopedist as quickly as can be managed next week.

I'll be the mom in the corner wearing the dunce cap. Oy.

Wake-Up Call

Actually, I don't need one. A wake-up call, that is. After a couple of days of this whole "getting up at 5:00 AM" thing, my body has adjusted and since yesterday I've been waking up at 4:45 without the alarm.

I don't know whether to celebrate or scream. It's probably going to be a little of both.

Anyway, 5:00 AM! 40 minutes, 10 miles again. Okay, more accurately it was 10.28 miles, but right now I'm happy with sticking at 10-ish miles per day for the next week. I'll worry about building more speed maybe around the end of next week.

I also need to figure out how to work in my intervals. I can't really watch the display to see how fast I'm going on a steady basis because it isn't lit, and I work out in the dark due to Choreboy's desire to continue sleeping. When I want to check my miles to make sure I'm on track for 10, I turn the iPad around and shine the light from its screen onto the bike display.

Pitiful, but effective.

So I'm thinking that I may reserve my interval training for the weekends. That mostly works for me, but part of my brain is still saying I need to spread those out a little more, so I'm going to need to give it a little more thought. I do have that Tabata MP3 playlist I put together, and I can definitely do that without seeing my display... so that could be an option.

My only concern with adding intervals to my early-morning workouts is that I'm kind of liking the alone time I have, snoozing husband notwithstanding. I'm reading a new series I'm really enjoying (the Jennifer Scales books co-written by Mary Janice Davidson -- she of the "Undead" vampire series fame -- and her husband, Anthony Alongi), and although the biking slows me down reading-wise, I'm still able to focus on it. That would change if I tossed Tabatas into the mix. I don't do change well.

We'll see.

Speaking of snoozing husbands, Choreboy let me know later yesterday morning that he'd actually been awake most of the time I'd been out there on the bike, and that he in fact witnessed Roach Fest 2012. Excuse me? I'm squeaking and freaking out over a damn bug and he can't even bestir himself to make it dead? Topping off his perfidity*, he failed to pitch the poisoned monster and it escaped. It's probably now going to develop a resistance to the lemon-scented Raid I doused it with and hunt us down in our sleep to stuff lemons in our ears or something.

When it does, it'll be all Choreboy's fault. And I'll be telling him about it. Repeatedly. And at great volume.

*Note: the dictionary says the word is "perfidy" rather than "perfidity". The dictionary is an ass.

Victory is Mine!

5:00 AM. 40 minutes. 10.1 miles today. Yes!

I managed that along with kicking over the dog's food, cleaning up same, shrieking because a freaking roach appeared behind my shoulder (ew, ew, EW!!!), killing same... you get the picture.

Oh, and one of the cats left a rather pungent gift for me this morning in the litter box. Better in than out, certainly; but still. It almost killed my appetite.

Almost.

One interesting effect of morning exercise appears to be that I am flat-out starved for the rest of the day, and I'm trying to mitigate that. My breakfast has been rather light (as in 1/2 cup egg whites plus 1 TBSP Parmesan "light"), so I added a little bowl of oatmeal. That didn't do much for me so I tossed in a banana yesterday. Still no luck, so this morning I upped my egg whites to a shade over 3/4 cup (because that's how much was left in the carton). We'll see how that works out. So far so good, at this point. I haven't eaten my Emergency Backup Banana yet, nor have I dipped into the This is Really Really an Emergency Peanut Butter Stash, which gives me hope that I may have hit on the right combination.

Tomorrow I'm just going to shoot for 10 miles again. 15 MPH sounds pretty good to me, but I need to watch my bike display to see what that is in RPM, then I'll have a better idea of where I am on the whole effective exercise continuum. I'm reading this article from Livestrong, and it's giving me some ideas... should be entertaining at least. Or give me something new to obsess over. Either way, it works.

This Does NOT Mean I'm a Morning Person

5:00 AM. Again. 40 minutes, made it 9.6 miles today. Maybe I'll hit 10 tomorrow?

But seriously, y'all, this kills me. Back in the dark ages when I wasn't known by the poly-syllabic "Mo-oooooom!!!!", I was a night person. The only time you'd see me up at 5 AM was when I hadn't been to bed yet. I'd teach all week, then pull two 12-hour overnight shifts at the police department (I was a member of the reserve, and was one of the few who never had trouble meeting the monthly mandatory minimum, go figure). Or I'd read endlessly. Or just stay up late talking with friends. Once I had children -- okay, children who slept through the night -- that ended. Sleep has become my holy grail, and it's rare I'll let anything get in the way of that from either end.

This is one of those times when I just have to suck it up, though. I hate waking up this early. I cannot begin to express to you just how much I freaking hate it. But I hate not being able to get in my exercise even more. I am a couch potato by nature; however, my good sense and a ton of reading tells me that I have to move a certain amount of time per day to be healthy. And because my family needs me, and because I'm rather fond of my body, that's what I'm doing, no matter what it takes.

I also know that if I don't move regularly I'll stop fitting into my clothes. One thing I did this fall when I got down in the 130's finally is I got rid of all my "fat" clothes. I literally have almost nothing I can wear in public if my weight gets past a certain point. It tends to keep me honest, and gives me a threshold I just can't cross. Maybe some people can afford to replace an entire wardrobe due to poundage creep, but I'm not one of them. I bought these clothes, they're the only ones I have, and as God is my witness they will (and do) fit, no matter what it takes.

So you're all going to hear from me every single day I get up and do this thing, even if it does mean I'm up before the birds. Because that, kids, is what it's going to take.

Oh-Dark-Hundred

Just a quickie to say that at 5:00 a.m. it is a) dark; and b) cold. Yes, even in Florida... in January at least.

40 minutes on the bike, 9.4 miles, not bad.

Day 2, Back in the Saddle

Hooray for recumbent stationary bikes! Today I went 45 minutes and got somewhere over 10 miles (I looked at my mileage but forgot it -- drat). After yesterday's weight lifting insanity my entire upper body is screaming at me. I was lifting 15 lb. dumbbells before Procedure Fest 2011-2012 kicked in, so I figured dropping to 10 pounds while jumping back in full-bore was a good idea. One day later, though, I'm thinking maybe 7-pounders might have been brighter. Oh well, too late! And the 10's weren't too heavy, so this is likely just the price I pay for being out of commission for so long.

My knees, however, are fine. I'm thrilled! Finally, consistent cardio without a limp. Well, without a joint-related limp. We'll see if my quads are more offended tomorrow. At the moment they're only mildly peeved with me, but as we all know that can easily change overnight.

Now the biggest trick: getting out of bed at 5 AM Monday to hop on that sucker for 30-40 minutes. I'm stating here and now that I will do it. So I'll report back tomorrow to confirm.... or hang my head in shame, which I'd prefer not to do.

I Haz a Bike!

I just had to chase the boys out of the room so I could type this brief entry. I told them they were very cute, but too talkative when I'm trying to get a blog post up. As they were departing, the Elder said, "I'm glad we could cause a disturbance in The Force."

Nerd like me. It'll do.

Anyway, we got the bike! Choreboy, saint that he is, was willing to turn his truck around right after he got home from work yesterday and pick it up, with the rest of us in tow. And although I don't think he was planning on assembling it last night (okay, I know he wasn't planning on it -- thank you anyway, dear!), he did it so I could get in some cardio today.

It. Was. Awesome. My knee, which is aggravated at me for hurling myself to the ground again, didn't even peep during the 40 minutes I was pedaling away. I'm still getting the gist of the programming options, but I sure can pedal at least! And after the cardio, I went ahead and lifted my weights and ran through the rest of my resistance routine.

Life is good. And now I'm off -- dinner at the parentals' tonight (we're filling in for a couple who couldn't make it for a dinner party-type thingie), so I have to scrape the muck off and spackle my face. Thankfully, rumor has it I clean up respectably. Whew.

Bike!

Okay, it's not an actual "has wheels and can go places" bike, but a recumbent exercise bicycle. That said, I'm psyched. As we all know (because I drone on and on and on about it), my knees functionality-wise are somewhere on a level lower than crap. Then that's added to the fact that I have all the gross motor coordination of a 10-month-old learning how to walk (and about the same ability) which means I fall a bunch and catch myself... on my knees.

Yippie.

Anyway, I damage myself a lot. And I needed something that was going to give me the ability to do my cardio workouts with less strain on my knee than my treadmill and elliptical. They're good at times, but when I've managed to body slam myself straight into my knee three times in one week? I need a better option.

So sometime this weekend, whenever we can get over to the store to pick it up, I'll have one. I already paid for it (Schwinn 220, if anyone is interested) because it's on sale and I'm not risking paying $150.00 more when the sale ends. It was either this or join a gym, and right now my life just doesn't have that kind of flexibility, so recumbent exercycle it is!

Now the catch will be where we're going to put this sucker. I'm thinking of moving the elliptical out of the computer room and putting the bike in its place. My only concern with that is I need to do my cardio in the mornings, because I can't count on an evening session due to the kids' homework needs. You might think the computer room should be fine for this, but due to a need for both of us to get some sleep*, Choreboy tends to end up out there more often than not. I tested the bike out at the store and it seems very quiet so it may be I can ride it without disturbing his slumber. We shall see.

If all else fails, I'll move it into our bedroom. At least that way I'll see it first thing and my commute to my exercise will be less than three feet.

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My gums appear to be healing again, and I finally went nuts earlier this week and bought fish to eat. Apparently there's only so long I can go without actual animal protein, and since other meats can be more firm or get stringy and catch between my teeth, fish it is.

It was good. I like chewing.

In fact, this recent food restriction has had me getting a little more creative as far as my meals are concerned. I'm also cut off from broccoli (the little flowers can get caught, just like stringy meat) and had more than two weeks without any dark greens, so while I was buying my fish, I also picked up a bag of organic spinach. I washed it off when I got home and just stuffed the whole bag into a giant pot with a little (1-2 TBSP) olive oil, minced garlic, salt, pepper, and a few sun dried tomato pieces. I've eaten it over three days and it's really hit the spot, and also reminded me that switching things up a little (I tend to be an extreme creature of habit) can be a positive.

Have a great weekend, y'all! I'll be the one pedaling in the corner.

*He snores. I wake up. I rub his back and tell him he's snoring. He says "Yes, baby" and either a) falls back asleep, in which case, repeat previous scenario; or b) he gives up and moves to the computer room. It's not ideal. We're working on finding a better solution because I kind of like not having separate bedrooms :P

In Brief

There's a flattering picture for all of you! Yes, I had the left side of my mouth done today, so in addition to my usual left-eye-wandering joy, I also have left-side-of-mouth droopage because even though I got the Novocaine shots around 9:00 this morning, they're obviously pretty much in full force three hours later.

Also, I just noticed that I am much more blonde than I was almost a year ago. Remember this picture?

Yep, still arguably brunette there. Now, I'm pretty much indisputably blonde.

Oh,before I go (because theoretically this is "In Brief"), check this out! It's an article about making our cardio into a "virtual journey", so we actually have a destination in mind while we're racking up miles on the treadmill, elliptical, recumbent bicycle, or pounding pavement, etc. I'm thinking I'm going to give this a whirl in a couple of weeks when I'm back to normal(ish). Any ideas on where I should pick for my virtual destination?

Anyway, I'm off. It's too much of a hassle wiping the drool from the left corner of my mouth at the same time as I'm trying to type. For lunch I have a choice of Slim Fast or Slim Fast. For dinner I'm planning an peach-mango-banana smoothie. All in all? It could be worse.

So could the drool, but still.

Have a great weekend, folks!

Thlllllurrrrrrp!!!!!

See that *pointing up at the title*? That's the sound most of my meals are making at the moment. I just had gum surgery thanks to periodontal disease,* and for the next week I can basically eat anything I can suck through a straw. That's it. Needless to say, my dinner options are somewhat limited, and I'm fairly certain I can't liquefy a Reese's peanut butter cup so I'm in a bit of a quandary. I repeat this loveliness in two weeks for the left side of my mouth (right now only the right side has been assaulted).

Oh, and I can't have spicy foods either, which I didn't know beforehand, so now I get to return the bottle of Spicy V8 that was going to help me keep my sanity.

Adding insult to injury, I feel like I've been kicked in the jaw by an exceptionally angry horse.

On the plus side, I can have all the SlimFast I want! Uhm... yay? More like ick. But at least it keeps the calories going in. I see smoothies in my future.

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Charlotte the School Chicken is now housed inside the school office after everyone has left campus for the day. She was put in her coop one night and a raccoon almost got her (he did get a few of the feathers off once side of her head, the poor baby), and the school administration felt it was in her best interests to become an even more domesticated chicken than she was already.

She is also now laying eggs, much to the excitement of the students and the slight alarm of the staff (who I can only assume are envisioning small children finding random eggs and deciding to chuck said potential projectiles at other, much less alert small children).

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Other than that, not much is up at the moment. I'm on light activity right now, but I've downloaded some MP3s with Tabata intervals, and once I have the go ahead to start pounding pavement again I've already set up playlists with two rounds of Tabatas (4 minutes each) , so I'll be ready. That is, if my knees agree. We'll see how it goes.


*Usually I don't discuss my ex, but I will say that his theory on dentistry was "You're too sheltered. Nobody keeps all their teeth, don't be such a baby!" so dentist visits for any of us weren't high on his priority list -- it, uh, wasn't a good situation... to put it mildly.

When the Guitars Scream, I Don't Have To

I'm turning into quite the metal-head in my old age. Choreboy and I were hosing down the house the other week in preparation for the Gum Zombie's 9th birthday party, both jamming out to our MP3 players.

He? Was listening to Air Supply.

I? Was listening to Iron Maiden.

We're twisted, but it works for us.

I'm sick today, and when Choreboy came home there I was, resting in bed listening to Bullet for my Valentine's Scream, Aim, Fire album. Not something restful, no no no... no, an album labeled "Explicit" on iTunes.

I'm going to lose my Sainted Mother trophy. I just know it.

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I had jury duty a couple of weeks ago, and of course it was the week that overlapped the 15th of the month, which is payday/ bill paying time at the office. Now if I died, they'd figure out a way to pay everyone, but as I'm not dead yet (I feel happy!!!), the plan was that if it came down to it I'd just come in the night of the 14th and run everything out for payday, then come in the night of the 15th and run out all the AP checks.

My group of jurors was slated for a felony trial. We were trapped up on one of the top floors of the courthouse for over 3 hours with no access to caffeine (speaking of cruel and unusual punishment), and right as we were about to be taken in for voir dire, the bailiff came out and said, "The trial has been continued. The judge said to tell you thank you for your service."

Most of our group agreed that this was, indeed, proof there is a Santa Claus.

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Christmas was a frenzy of cooking, baking, and dining insanity. A week prior was the Gum Zombie's afore-mentioned birthday which included a Bakugan cake -- NOT made by me, thank goodness -- and a warm bacon blue cheese dip that was. Then we had the office Christmas party, then Christmas Eve at my house featuring Death By Lasagna and a cream cheese pound cake. The entire insanity-fest culminated at my parents' on Christmas day with more Bacon Blue Cheese dip, crazy amounts of cheese, beef tenderloin, Super Taters, and a triple-decker gingerbread cake with cream cheese frosting studded with crystalized ginger.

My stomach hurts just typing all that.

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Speaking of weight... I'm not speaking about it. Or maybe I am. Since the ablation I've been off-kilter. Cravings have been out of control, and adding to that I'm having severe bloating in my chest which isn't helping matters at all. I don't know what I weigh right now because I'm sick of getting on the scale even when I'm doing everything right and seeing it go up, and frankly, since I have not been doing everything right for the past couple of weeks or so, I shudder to think of what the results are now.

I'm getting back on that bad boy in mid-February and not a minute before. I'm picking that date because my GYN says I should know the final results of my ablation at that point, and I'm hoping that means the chestal insanity (I just went down a bra size, people -- and now I swear I'm up one! at least! and this is not a positive, kids) will have abated. Until then I'll eat and exercise as I should without the shriek-fest my recent weigh-ins have engendered.

Now all I need is for someone to start texting my lazy ass next week* at 5:00 AM ET so I'll haul my butt out of bed and knock out my cardio before I can come up with an excuse not to do it. Any volunteers, please hit me up in email and I'll shoot you the number.

Accountability is a good thing.

*I have a very bad cold on top of everything else right now, so this isn't an "I'll start in 2012" issue, so much as it is the "I can't breathe through my nose and it's dripping anyway" type.

Activity -- Huzzah!

I finally made it back onto the treadmill today. Hooray! It was the first day I actually didn't feel too gross to sweat (recovery from the ablation involves ****TMI ALERT**** discharge in varying quantities and NO tampons, which leaves me feeling like a huge pile of ick ****END TMI ALERT****), and it was good to actually move myself just for exercise sake again. I only did 30 minutes on the treadmill at a rather low 3.1 MPH, minimal incline, but bear in mind that on Friday I pitched myself over the dog gate yet again, resulting in two horribly bruised and otherwise damaged already-iffy knees.

Sad thing is, on Thursday I'd just been thinking how neither knee hurt finally! And wasn't that great? And that if I were smart and cautious, maybe I could start back to running...

Uh-huh. We all know where this is going. You know that old saw about "If you ever want to make God laugh, tell him your plans?" I always get hit by that one. Good grief.

So anyway, 30 minutes on the treadmill, hooray! Both knees were slightly displeased with me when I was done (they'd prefer I never walk again as I appear to be rather bad at it), but they've already gone back to their pre-walk distant throb, so it's all good there.

If I didn't know better I'd swear my orthopedist has set up a system to raise the dog gates at random intervals to help me trip a bit more frequently so I'll push up the arthroscopic procedure he has in mind for when I can't stand my right knee anymore. There's no one damaged structure, just general degradation of the joint and "debris," in his words. Chondromalacia patella is the actual diagnosis, which I believe is accurately translated as Damn you're old, and your knees sure know it!

Ahem.

Anyway, I can let him go in and "clean it up in there" if I want, and part of me does want, but the other part of me says "Six weeks of no weight-bearing? And this is on my right knee, which means no driving? Uhm... no. Thanks just the same." I get 2 weeks of sick leave per year which I use up by October at the outside thanks to the kids, so nothing is banked. And beyond that, the transportation issue is huge. Public transit isn't an option (it's non-existent for folks in my end of town -- we're outside the city limits and even inside it's iffy), and even though I know my family and Choreboy would pitch in where they could, there are also the boys to consider and again, SIX WEEKS. It's just not feasible.

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In other news, I made my first tart! This one was a browned butter tart topped with cranberries that I found at the Food & Wine website: linked here. Sucker took over 4 hours out of my life, but it was good.


The crust isn't gorgeous visually, although it was very tasty because I was careful not to overwork the dough and kept it chilled, but it was my first homemade crust, after all. Usually I figure the Publix refrigerated pie crust is sufficient. Practice is a marvelous thing, and I suspect this is a recipe that will have to be repeated.

Okay, enough! Must finish reading my book of the moment, Tim Dorsey's When Elves Attack. Any book with these opening lines:

"My name is Edith Grabowski. I'm ninety-three years old, and I've decided to stop having sex.

I guess you just reach a certain age,"

has my vote. Hee! Have a good one, y'all :)